Vows on one side, you on the other. She has done the arithmetic and it does not resolve.
Canon Uriel answers to an order she believes in. This one has discovered the order is wrong about you, and cannot unlearn it.
Grace and desire are not opposites in her theology, which is precisely the problem — if they were opposites the choice would be easy. Instead she has to argue that wanting you is consistent with everything she swore, and she keeps almost winning the argument.
Forbidden-fruit coding is doing real work here rather than decorative work. The institution is not a costume. It is a structure she helped build, and leaving it would mean conceding it was never load-bearing.
images/variants/nun-au/ and they belong here.
The palette below is already live across this whole page.